Dramione Texts
by laurenscissorhandss
Summary: A collection of short one-shot funny dramione texts. Enjoy, and don't forget to R&R! Rated T because I don't know what to rate it.
1. Chapter 1

**Hermione:**

 _Can't_ believe I forgot to go to charms today!

 **Harry:**

Still don't see how on earth _you_ could forget.

 **Hermione:**

I already told you...I got distracted, thinking about Draco.

 **Ron**

You don't need to think about Malfoy, when you've got me to think about. ;)

 **Ginny:**

I can totally understand, Hermione. Malfoy _can_ be quite distracting.

 **Harry:**

Ginny!? O_o !?

 **Draco:**

I sure gave you sonething to think about the other day. ;)

...And before you freak out Potter, I wasn't talking to Ginny.

 **Ron:**

WHAT!? Hermione would never do anything with you Malfoy, ever.

 **Draco:**

You sure about that Weasel-bee, you should take a good look at her neck, there should be some impressive marks there...She likes to keep them for a few days. ;)

 **Hermione:**

...Thank you, Draco.

 **Ron:**

0_o


	2. Texts 2

**Hermione:**

Stupid Malfoy got us detention in the library.

 **Draco:**

Your fault, Mudblood.

 **Harry:**

That sucks. How?

 **Hermione:**

I... Don't want to talk about it.

 **Ron:**

Just tell us!

 **Hermione:**

I'd rather not.

 **Peeves:**

GRANGER AND MALFOY, SITTING IN A TREE, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

 **Pansy:**

WHAT!?

 **Harry:**

...

 **Ron:**

Please tell me that he's making that up

 **Hermione:**

Of course he's making it up! I despise Malfoy!

 **Draco:**

Funny. That's not what you said to me during our 'study' in the library.

 **Pansy:**

WHAT!? YOU KISSED THAT MUDBLOOD!?

 **Ron:**

WHAT!? HOW CAN YOU KISS THAT JERK HERMIONE? WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH YOU!?

 **Dean:**

OH SNAP!

 **Seamus:**

Oh my God.

 **Ginny:**

Hermione are you okay? Talk to me as soon as possible!

 **Harry:**

...

 **Ron:**

Where have they gone?...

 **Pansy:**

DRACO! Get back here NOW!

 **Ginny:**

Guys... I think they've gone.

 **Harry:**

o_0 


	3. Texts 3

**Draco:**

Father, I have a new girlfriend...

 **Lucius:**

Excellent! I assume she's Slytheryn?

 **Draco**

Umm...No. She's Gryffindor.

 **Lucius:**

SHE...WHAT!?

Ahh well I assume her friends are in Slytheryn then?...

 **Draco:**

Not exactly...She's friends with Potter and Weasel-bee.

 **Narcissa:**

THE WEASLYS!?

 **Lucius:**

Calm down darling, I'm sure our Draco knows what he's doing.

 **Draco:**

Oh...And she's also muggleborn.

 **Narcissa:**

She...She's...What!?

 **Lucius:**

My only son...is dating a...MUDBLOOD!?

 **Draco:**

Hey! Don't call her a Mudblood! I happen to like her very much!

 **Hermione**

Aww thank you Draco! I love you too! Want to meet this evening in the library? ;)

 **Draco:**

I'd love too Granger darling. ;)

 **Narcissa:**

*Passes Out*

 **Lucius:**

I...I think I'm going to be sick... :/


	4. Texts 4

**Draco:**

I love when you say my name. ;)

 **Astoria:**

Aww, love you too Draco! :)

 **Pansy:**

He wasn't talking to you, bitch. He was talking about me, Right Draco?

 **Ginny:**

Actually, for your information, he wasn't talking to either of you. He was talking about some one else.

 **Astoria:**

Oh yeah? And how would you know, blood traitor.

 **Draco:**

Actually, ladies, Weaselettes right. I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to Hermione, obviously.

 **Pansy:**

WHAT THE FUCK!? Hermione.. As in HERMIONE GRANGER!?

 **Draco:**

Yes. Hermione as in Hermione Granger.

 **Hermione:**

*Smiles* And I love you too...Draco.


	5. Texts 5

**Number 5 is up! Haven't actually gotten any reviews yet, but I'll keep hoping! x**

 **Hermione:**

For once in my life, my work is boring.

 **Harry:**

...are you feeling okay?

 **Hermione:**

Fine, thanks for asking. It's just that I have nothing to do!

 **Ron:**

Then why don't you find something to do?!

 **Hermione:**

Do you not think I tried? Everyone's telling me to go home but I'm not allowed!

 **Harry:**

Why not?

 **Hermione:**

Dra- I mean, someone's at home and planning a surprise for me so I can't go back get!

 **Harry:**

Who?

 **Ron:**

Yeah, who?

 **Hermione:**

Oh...I don't think I should tell you.

 **Ron:**

...why not?

 **Hermione:**

You wouldn't like it.

 **Harry:**

Just tell us!

 **Hermione:**

Oh I don't really think I shou-

 **Draco:**

Hurry up honey, the surprise is ready!

 **Harry:**

…

 **Ron:**

…

 **Ginny:**

…

 **Hermione:**

Uhh, I think I'm just going to go now...

 **Luna:**

I always knew it would happen with you two! 

**So cute! x**


	6. Texts 6

**A/N: Please keep reviewing, they make me happy! Love you guys and because I do, here's another chapter!**

 **Guest: Thanks! I'm glad you like it! Here's another chapter!**

 **Draco:**

Hey, Granger. Thanks for a great evening, we should do it again sometime.

 **Ron:**

...What are you talking about?

 **Draco:**

Oh, has she not told you yet?

 **Ron:**

Told me what?

 **Hermione:**

 _Nothing_ , Ron. And sure Malfoy, same place and time?

 **Draco:**

Yep., ;)

 **Ginny:**

Hermione...Is there something your not telling us...?

 **Hermione:**

Maybe.

 **Ginny**

You know you can tell me.

 **Blaise:**

Draco, what are you talking about? You told me you were going to the library yesterday, not going off with Granger.

 **Draco:**

I was in the library yesterday Blaise. So Granger, can't wait to see you again. Can we not meet in half and hour?

 **Hermione:**

Sure, same place as always?

 **Draco:**

See you there. ;)

 **Ron:**

...Hermione?

 **A/N: Please review, love you guys x**


	7. Texts 7

**A/N: We could all do with a bit of jealous Draco in our lives! X**

 **Draco:**

Hermione, don't ever do that again.

 **Hermione:**

Do what Malfoy?

 **Draco:**

Don't do that thing with Weasel in the great hall again.

 **Hermione:**

You mean...kissing him?

 **Draco:**

Precisely. Why would you even want to do that with him?

 **Hermione:**

Well...it is Valentines day! And it's a nice thing to do...?

 **Draco:**

Well, I know someone who would be a better kisser than Weasel and who really really really wants to kiss you right now.

 **Hermione:**

Really? Who?

 **Draco:**

Go to the Astronomy tower and I'll show you ;)

 **Ron:**

Hey! Stop flirting with Hermione! And I am a good kisser, right Hermione!?

...Hermione?

 **Haha! R &R Please! **


	8. Texts 8

**A/N: Okay, so I actually think that this is one of my favourite ones, so funny! Please review if you like it! Not posting new chapter until I get another one!**

 **Hermione:**

I failed my biology exam...

 **Ron:**

What!?

 **Harry:**

How is it possible that you failed?! And Ron, it's a muggle subject.

 **Draco:**

What about practical biology? I.M.R.A.B?

 **Ron:**

What the hell is the meaning of I.M.R.A.B you ugly ferret?

 **Harry:**

Ron I think that it is Integrative biology. Microbiology. Racial Stocks. Aerobraking. Bio-mechanics.

 **Draco:**

Lol No.

 **Hermione:**

So what is it, Malfoy...

 **Draco:**

I.M.R.A.B (Practical biology tutoring) In my room and bed. ;)

 **Hermione:**

I agree!

 **Ron:**

OMFG WTF HERMIONE!?

 **Ginny:**

^^You go for it girl.

 **Ron:**

GINNY!?

 **Love you x (I'm begging you R &R)**


	9. Texts 9

A/N: Okay, so a little bit depressing there, I'm sorry! Tell me if you have any ideas in comments below! And to my two newest reviewers thank you very much, draqueshaisthebomb and ItsMeYanieee.

Hermione: Who is it that you like?

Draco: I can't tell you.

Hermione: Why not?

Draco: (writes this, but never sends,) It's you. It's always been you. But we could never be together, it would ruin our lives. Mine is already ruined, but yours isn't and I want you living your life to the fullest. And I know for a fact that you don't like me. You deserve so much better than me or what I could ever give you. You should know that every word I say to you is filled with love and admiration, not hate and malice. I love you, Hermione Jean Granger.

Draco: I just can't.


	10. Texts 10

**A/N: R &R! I love you guys x **

**Draco:**

Hey Hermione, did I leave my wand at your place?

 **Hermione:**

No you didn't

 **Draco:**

Did you check?

 **Hermione:**

Yes I did check.

 **Draco:**

And?

 **Hermione:**

And it's not there.

 **Draco:**

There? Where are you?

 **Hermione:**

I'm out with Ginny, shopping.

 **Draco:**

So how do you know if it's not at yours?

 **Hermione:**

You called me this morning and I told you. _It's not there!_

 **Draco:**

Well then where is it?

 **Hermione:**

Check your coat pocket.

 **Draco:**

Come on Hermione, I would have known if it were there.

 **Hermione:**

Do it.

 **Draco:**

Fine the-

 **Hermione:**

Find it?

 **Draco:**

Yes.

 **Hermione:**

So I was right?

 **Draco:**

Maybe.

 **Hermione:**

Was I or wasn't I?

 **Draco:**

Yes.

 **Hermione:**

Yes what?

 **Draco:**

Yes you were right and I was wrong...

 **Hermione:**

Thank you. Now I must be off, see you later!

 **Draco:**

Love you.

 **Hermione:**

Ditto.

 **Draco:**

?

 **Hermione:**

Never mind. Goodbye! X

 **Draco:**

Bye.

 **Blaise:**

He is so whipped.

 **Theo:**

So whipped.


	11. Texts 11

**A/N: Two in one day! How lucky you all are! Jokes! x**

 **Hermione:**

Hey Draco! It's a lovely day isn't it, an-

 **Draco:**

No.

 **Hermione:**

What?

 **Draco:**

Whatever you want from me, it's a no.

 **Hermione:**

I don't want anything from you!?

 **Draco:**

Oh, so now I'm useless?

 **Hermione:**

What's got you in a mood?

 **Draco:**

Doesn't matter.

 **Hermione:**

Of course it does Draco! Tell me!

 **Draco:**

I'm getting a little brother or sister.

 **Hermione:**

Wow! Congratulations!

 **Draco:**

No.

 **Hermione:**

No what?

 **Draco:**

No, it's not good!

 **Hermione:**

Why not!?

 **Draco:**

Because the little thing will be getting all of the attention!

 **Hermione:**

So?

 **Draco:**

 _So?_ What do you mean _so?_ All of the attention should be on _me!_

 **Hermione:**

Yes, well s-

 **Draco:**

Oh, and it's not like I'm getting married in two months!

 **Hermione:**

Oh really? Can I come?

 **Draco:**

Shut up, Hermione. Otherwise bad things will happen.

 **Hermione:**

What kind of bad things? ;)

 **Draco:**

Meet me at my place in 10 minutes and I'll show you.

 **Harry:**

Wow, that escalated really quickly.

 **Blaise:**

For one, I agree with Scar-head.

 **Draco:**

Stay out of it, you two. And if I were you I would be the one worrying seeing as I'm getting laid tonight and you two suckers are at home sulking because you can't get some.

 **Hermione:**

Leave them be, Draco.

 **Draco:**

Sorry honey but until you do...certain things to me I'm afraid that that won't be happening.

 **Hermione:**

On my way!


End file.
